So tired....

I'm worn out. I haven't been able to do much latley but eat and sleep. I force myself to go to work when I have to. I'm always late. I guess it doesn't matter really. Why should I care about being ontime to a job that I will only have for 11 more days anyhow? (They moved the date to 7/26) My mother's condition has worsened. She has pnuemonia. I don't handle death well. I tend to run from it, I shut it out, I try to pretend it's not happening. I think this is because after my grandfater died my mother turned into a complete basket-case. She could barely function. She would break down at family gatherings. She turned into a different person after that. I guess I don't want the same thing to happen to me.I tried to talk to her today. That was hard. She can barely talk since she has a tube in her throat now. To make matters worse there was some kind of interference on the line and I could barely hear anything except for what sounded like radio commercials. It's really tough to talk to your dying mother while someone is trying to hawk their wares in a pleasant voice in your ear. I hate this feeling. I feel powerless.