no new tale to tell

Step one is out of the way. I sold off most of my books and a couple of my computer games, 40 pounds of literature and electronic entertainment for a whopping 27 dollars. I sobered up, no hang-over (yay). Then I shoved some fast food down my gullet. I was going to go shopping for a digital camera to document the great northern migration but it is pouring down rain outside. I like the rain, just not when I have to ride my bike in it. I realize that this is just a big waste of people's time. I'm just doing this to keep my mind occupied so I don't think about how utterly frightened I am. I may have said this before, but I can handle a lot, guns in my face, cars hitting me, county jail, but change? Change has me quaking in my boots. Being unemployed scares me to death. Moving on my own is freaking me out.


I'll stop boring you now....

It is done...

This is what mt horoscope said today.

SCORPIO:

"You're due for a change in your surroundings -- it's a great time to consider redecorating your home, repainting it, or even just rearranging your furniture a bit. Mixing up the way the physical space around you is organized will put you off of your routine in a good way. It will refresh your outlook about the world much more than you could imagine. Plus, it will reinforce how you are capable of affecting the world around you -- as little or as much as you would like"

Man, the stars aren't lying today. I have all this crap in my place that I don't know what the hell to do with. Furniture, television, pots and pans, so...much...STUFF. I would hate to toss it all, but, I really can't take it with me. I would just set the place on fire but I fear that the other residents of this apartment building would frown on that, not to mention that arson carries a stiff jail sentence.

Random thought: "Who knew Sponge-Bob was so subversive?" (That's what is on TV right now)

anyway....

#####

It is 11:56 AM and I am intoxicated. I woke up with a hang over ,the first in almost a week, (an accomplishment in my book) I decided to keep drinking instead of bearing with a headache. But what will happen when the booze runs out? It's best not to think about those things right now.

Yesterday, I spent the last 14 hours I will ever spend at my job er- my former job. It was sad. Throughout the 3+ hour "cleaning party" (hardly the get together I was envisioning) my assistant manager and I just looked at each other and said "Damn" It was anti-climactic to be sure. For the first time in nearly four years I am without steady employment. I'm going to miss all the people I have worked with over the years. It feels like saying good-bye to members of my family. What I won't miss is the feeling I am being judged by soft-headed children of privilige and ditzy Lohan wanna-be's.


I just yelled "fuck you" to the TV. Barry Bonds was talking about breaking the home run record. I hate that bastard.... Anyway...

I am on a precipice.

T-minus 1.5 days.

It's almost over one more day in that place and then I get on with the rest of my life. I can't wait. I am so tired of that place. Incredibly sick, nauseatingly sick, my head hurts every time I go into that place. After the shift is over we are supposed to have a going away party. I hope that will be fun. It will probably be bittersweet. As much as I complain about the place I will miss it.

the evens

This is one of my favorite new bands. They are called The Evens. They have been around for a couple of years so they aren't exactly "new" but they are new to me, and possibly you now. They are a two piece band but before you write them off as a "White Stripes rip-off" take a listen. The guy singing is Ian Mackeye of MINOR THREAT, and FUGAZI. The girl on drums is Amy Farina of THE WARMERS. I love their sound. I hope you will too.

T-Minus 3 days

I feel like a kid waiting for the last day of school. It kind of feels good. My life is about to change BIG TIME. I'm excited. I realize that this is going to be hard but I don't mind that. In fact I welcome it. My life here has become so stagnant lately. This will be fun.


I don't have much else to say right now, I might post more later.

T-Minus 4 days

I fell off the wagon last night. No, fell off is the wrong term. I jumped off. Do I regret it? Not really. I feel sick but that's okay. I really don't know what else to write about at the moment. I am giddy about my trip. I might take an Amtrack train. I have never ridden a train before.


I just saw this, it made me laugh:


Okay, more later.

Bomb Day.

I just saw this on youtube and I thought I would share it. This is Wayne Kramer of the MC 5. It's da shit.

I can't wait for this week to be over

My job ends on Friday. They moved the date AGAIN, if they do this anymore I am going postal. It's so hard to keep a straight face. I hate most of the people I have to serve. They don't treat me like a person. To them, I'm "the help". I hate being thought of that way. Why does the fact that i work behind a counter and wear an apron make me a second class citizen? A lot of customers avoid eye contact. It hurts. It's hardened me some, made me bitter. Is it okay that I am bitter at the age of thirty? I'm not sure that it is. I wake everyday and a sense of dread overwhelms me. I lay on my couch until the last possible minute. And then I greet the day with an extended middle finger. I used to LOVE my job. It was fun at one point. I made kids happy, how can someone NOT like that? I'm just angry now. This week can't end soon enough.