BOTOX ! saving the world one wrinkle at a time.

That was the tag-line emblazoned across a 2 page ad in the Dec. issue of Health and Fitness. A magazine that is used mainly for starting fires and lining bird cages because it's free and glossy paper burns so well. The tag line really bugged me. I didn't know wrinkles were a threat to global stability! I mean what about terrorism, AIDS, global warming, a bull-shit war that is killing thousands? Oh no, apparentley that's kid's stuff compared to CROW'S FEET.YEAH, that's the real problem.
And aside from the rather insulting tag-line, there's the picture. It features the illustrious DR. K! Looking suave and davinare. Clad in a tuxedo. Sporting dark glasses, and a haircut that would make Kim Jong Il jealous. And don't get me started on his 'stache, magnifique'. It evokes the vision of a pre-invasion Saddam.
Striking a pose like a Kuwati 007, he is seen stepping out of a silver Lambroughini,poised and ready to rock, in his right hand, he is holding his weapon of mass-destruction, the BOTOX needle, in his left hand, a martini. Wait. What? Are they trying to say he does his work while stewed of Smirnoff ? NOT the impression I want to give potential patients.

But wait, there's more!! Flanking Dr. K are his beauties! To his left, there are a 30 ish mocha skinned babe who looks like she doesn't need his services, and a 40 ish MILF , all blonde and leggy. But to the right of DR. K is the brunette beauty, OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! She looks like she just had the procedure done. I mean, the last time I saw a face that dead looking it was on a corpse. Can you imagine the poor photographer's frustration "excuse me, miss, I need you to smile"
"I am smiling, can't you tell?"
"Nope"
"Wait (strains) How about now?"
"afraid not corpsey"
"wait wait wait, I can do this (strains really hard). Now?"
"Fuck it, lets just shoot it, i need a drink, got any more of those martinis doc?"

What is this world coming to?

Stuff I saw on the bus.

Here is graffiti I saw on the bus yesterday. It was on the back of the seat in front of me.


"Acres Home fck a flu fck a blu watch dis blood hulg your crew on piru"

Thats it, verbatim, I wrote it down. This makes me wish I had an english to gangbanger dictionary or phrase book. I would ask someone to translate it but I think that would go over as well as Kramer at the million man march. I mean, could you imagine my scrawny pale self walking up to the hardest looking gang-banger I can find and say,(in my best snooty British accent) "Excuse me ol' chap. Do you speak street?" I would get shot.

Right after I wrote that bit, I saw some more on the seat next to me, this is what it said:

"LIL YORK TX 34,34 BLOCK
5,9 PIRU BLOOD HOUND
5 POPPIN' SMIX DROPPIN MDB
VI OVA HOOVA GET IT
HOW YOU LIKE LIVE BANGIN"

hmmm, interesting, I'm not sure if this is a back and forth between two rivals, or if it was all done by one person, but I do know one thing. Houston has some dirty assed buses.

sobriety, fun stuff. part II

I wonder when the hallucinations will start. In school my english/theatre teacher MR. B______ made us read Days Of Wine And Roses. I thought the play was kind of scary(at the time anyway, now i bet it would read like an after school special). One scene that sticks out in my mind is when Joe, our soused hero, is walking through a hospital and encounters a DT victim. The poor soul is hallucinating that he is covered from head to toe in ants. Being from Texas most of my life I kind of know how that is (the ants part, I could write a book based on hallucinations I have had. Self induced ,or not.)Anyway, I hope that doesn't happen to me. Of course, my one faithful reader, This could just be the lack of sleep talking.

Work should be interesting today............

sobriety, fun stuff.

I'ts 3:21 am. I haven't had a drink in nearly 24 hours, I can't sleep and there isn't anything on TV. Maybe I should invest in some sleeping pills and lay off the caffiene. Maybe cold turkey wasn't a good idea. Nay, it was a GREAT idea. Seeing my G.F. stumble around wasted reminds me that I don't need that in my life. I'm doing this for the sake of my art.

A moment of clarity?

I have begrudgingly come to realize that my alchoholism is killing my creativity. I know now I need to stop. This is going to SUCK!!
Tonight, instead of buying my usual 12 pack of beer I bought a 12 pack of soda (i think near beer would probably tempt me to go get the real thing). I have kicked bad habits before but this is going to be excruciating. On average I drink at least 8-10 beers a night either that, or a pint of whiskey, or a bottle of wine. Most mornings I would wake up hungover. Before I became a drunkard I wrote everyday. A poem ,short story, or song. Now? I am lucky if I puke up something once a month. this need to change.



and speaking of writing.... here is a work in progress, probably a song. I was stone sober when I wrote this.

UNTITLED:

Atrophied love,
From a phantom pained heart,
Growing on me ,
Like the tissue of a scar.

Sing to me muse
Speak in rhyme,
I'll give you all night,
If you have the time.

She longs to be held,
And I want to hold,
Huddled up in a blanket,
Outside in the cold.

I'm dreaming of lake,
and a mist rising off,
of the inky black water,
toward a sky full of stars.

Oh why
are some
So Far?

And why
are some
so hug-starved?-


that's all for now.