I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS...

I really think the apocalypse is coming. When the Presidential primaries come in 7 months I just might vote for a republican. Ron Paul makes sense to me. After reading some of the things I read on his website I was blown away. He Voted AGAINST the Iraq WAR, the Patriot Act, and internet regulation. WOW, a conservative who's head ISN'T up his ass. While Obama tows the party line, and Hilary tries to figure out her identity this guy just makes sense.
I'm now going to go outside and see if there are frogs falling out of the sky.

yeesh,

I had my food service class yesterday. WOO-FUCKING-HOO! 7 hours of sitting in a classroom reviewing stuff I already knew. The thing that bothered me the most was the seeming ineptitude of some of the people there. There were people who didn't know how to fill out a scan-tron sheet. "It's just like filling out a lottery ticket" The instructor said. After that some of them got it. Some people still needed help. I'm pretty sure I passed the test. I was the first one finished. I only needed to score a 70 (I scored a 90 the last time). There was a Japanese woman that I felt sorry for. She couldn't read English, she could speak it quite well. But what really got me was that they had the test in Korean, Mandarin, Urdu, and Hindi, but no Japanese. (You would think in the city with the largest Asian population in the country would be able to accomadate a Japanese person.) Oh, and how is this for irony. During the lunch break I bought a ham sandwich from the vending machine. It was expired, and the ham was BROWN! AT THE GODDAMNED HEALTH DEPARTMENT! I persevered. Doesn't that just make you eat out in Houston?

Food Service.....fun stuff

YAY. Tomorrow I get to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to go to food service management class to learn a bunch of stuff I already know. I will share some of this superfluous knowledge now.

• cooked food stays good at room temperature for four hours, after that it is subject to all sorts of nasty bacteria like E-coli, salmonella, and other nasty food borne-illnesses.
• you can't serve food to people if you have a runny nose.
• All restaurants have cockroaches, it's a fact. They hide in every dark corner they can find, but if you see them running around the counters at your favorite eating establishment you probably shouldn't eat there (and call the health department)
• The proper temperature to cook chicken to is 160 degrees Fahrenheit
• For pork it is 150
• for beef it is 140
• None of this stuff applies to the ice-cream business (well except for the cockroach thing)

This is going to suck....

I REALLY HATE THIS GUY!!!!

“They can try to have their vote of no confidence, but it’s not going to determine — make the determination, who serves in MY government,There’s been no wrongdoing.”


-George W. Bush, a couple of days ago. (In regard to the proposed "no confidence" vote regarding Alberto "I can't recall" Gonzales)




Isn't it OUR government? Orwell must be rolling in his grave.

Who Knew?

Today at work a woman gave me a twenty dollar tip for serving her 10 minutes before the store opened. I tried to tell her that it was too much. I felt embarrassed. (It was essentially a 1000% tip.) "No, this is too much" I said, "I can't accept this" I said. She insisted. I took it. I told myself that the money would go towards something I needed to spend it on (like bills or food or something like that.) I spent it on a bottle of whiskey and tic-tacs. (I certainly didn't need the whiskey. But who can't use a tic-tac every now and again? After that I got a phone call from my boss concerning a customer complaint. The customer was upset as to how I handled a query concerning the ingredients in the ice cream. She asked if it contained eggs because her son was allergic. I told her "no, the only ones that have eggs in them are the ones that are labeled "custard" (because eggs are a main ingredient in custard...I have been in the ice cream business a long time. I know these things. The customer's complaint included that I didn't bother to look at any documentation concerning this issue. I didn't think I had to because I knew what I was talking about. It turns out I was wrong. It DID contain eggs, but the ingredients list did not say that, so technically I was off the hook. (the kid did not suffer any kind of reaction either) But what if that kid had died from what I told them it was okay to eat?
That mom would associate my face with her son's death. Even though technically it wouldn't have been my fault I don't think that mother would have felt the same way and I would have a kid's death on MY HEAD. (Who knew the ice cream industry could be fraught with moral dilemmas such as this?)

****

Aside from that I learned that cherry cola and whiskey taste TERRIBLE together. (not undrinkable, just not great.) Who knew? I like cherry cola, I like whiskey, I thought it would be great. Oh well.

What the fuck.....

Recently declassified government documents state that research was conducted on a "Gay Bomb" in 1994. How fucking absurd is that. Could you imagine? :

*BOOM* "Hey, Hamid. I really wanted to kill some Amerikans today, but how 'bout I just do you, and give you a reach around instead? "Sounds good there Ahmed, let's go!"

I really do not what else to say about this. This government never ceases to amaze me.

Things I have wanted to say but didn't

• "Ma'am, I hate to tell you this, but your son is going to be a huge pillow-biter when he grows up" (to the mom picking out a Strawberry Shortcake video for her son.)
• " If I hear the words "TWO FOR SOMETHING" come out of your mouth one more time I will eat your fucking face!" (to the old lady who I was stuck in line behind in the express lane who kept saying "These are two for something" over, and over, and over.)
• "Whoa!, I think it moved a little" (To various good looking women who have come into my store)
• "WILL YOU LET ME FINISH A GOD-DAMNED SENTENCE" (to various customers who seem to be in a huge hurry to get their deserts)
• "USE YOUR FUCKING TURN SIGNAL" (To various stepford wives on the road who can't seem to hang up the phone and drive. I can't count how many times I have been nearly taken out by a land rover.)
• "Kid, you DON'T NEED THAT MUCH ICE CREAM! YOUR ASS IS HUGE, where's your mother I'm gonna slap her" (to all of the morbidly obese children that come into my store, I'm sorry but there is something wrong when a kid in the third grade can compete as a light-weight fucking SUMO WRESTLER)
• "Be glad that you are good looking" (to various dingy teen aged girls who say things like "and I was like----, and she was like-----, and like, oh my GOD, have you heard the new Fergie song?) AHHHHHHHHHHH!
• "Dude, you look like a fucking douche-bag dressed like that, oh wait that's because you are a douche-bag" (to all the guys that wear pink polo shirts with plaid shorts and flip-flops and have names like "Sterling" and "Preston")

I could go on for another hour or so but I have to sleep a little more before I go to work. Damn, that was cathartic.

Yes, this is why!

Thank you to the Boob Lady for turning me on to this comic. I think this one describes my drinking habit perfectly.

I'm just a body full of holes.....

I stole the title of this post from Minty, who stole it from Wilco. I went to see my EX today. It went well enough. Then I got home. There were six messages on my voice mail. I still care about her I always will. But there is no chance of us getting back together for anything more than a friendship. She wants more. I can't give her that. I can't. This song describes how I feel perfectly.