I'm scared. (Update)

I have a meeting today with a corporate big-wig that is going to tell me something that I am not supposed to know yet. I have to act surprised.(Fortunately, I am a decent actor.) I am tempted to ask if I can be let go and given a severance package. I want to get the hell out of Texas and I think two months pay would be just enough to get started in my new digs. Of course I realize that this could backfire on me and I could just get fired for being such a ballsy fucker. I am dreading this. I have knots in stomach. I have been avoiding human contact. I forced myself NOT to drink last night (that kind of sucked). I haven't been this uncertain about life in years. I don't like it. I hate feeling like I'm not in control of the events in my life. I'm too old to go back to sleeping on other people's couches. (this is more than just pride talking) I've gotten offers to already. I like my own couch. So I have to respectfully decline.