07 December 2006

BOTOX ! saving the world one wrinkle at a time.

That was the tag-line emblazoned across a 2 page ad in the Dec. issue of Health and Fitness. A magazine that is used mainly for starting fires and lining bird cages because it's free and glossy paper burns so well. The tag line really bugged me. I didn't know wrinkles were a threat to global stability! I mean what about terrorism, AIDS, global warming, a bull-shit war that is killing thousands? Oh no, apparentley that's kid's stuff compared to CROW'S FEET.YEAH, that's the real problem.
And aside from the rather insulting tag-line, there's the picture. It features the illustrious DR. K! Looking suave and davinare. Clad in a tuxedo. Sporting dark glasses, and a haircut that would make Kim Jong Il jealous. And don't get me started on his 'stache, magnifique'. It evokes the vision of a pre-invasion Saddam.
Striking a pose like a Kuwati 007, he is seen stepping out of a silver Lambroughini,poised and ready to rock, in his right hand, he is holding his weapon of mass-destruction, the BOTOX needle, in his left hand, a martini. Wait. What? Are they trying to say he does his work while stewed of Smirnoff ? NOT the impression I want to give potential patients.

But wait, there's more!! Flanking Dr. K are his beauties! To his left, there are a 30 ish mocha skinned babe who looks like she doesn't need his services, and a 40 ish MILF , all blonde and leggy. But to the right of DR. K is the brunette beauty, OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! She looks like she just had the procedure done. I mean, the last time I saw a face that dead looking it was on a corpse. Can you imagine the poor photographer's frustration "excuse me, miss, I need you to smile"
"I am smiling, can't you tell?"
"Nope"
"Wait (strains) How about now?"
"afraid not corpsey"
"wait wait wait, I can do this (strains really hard). Now?"
"Fuck it, lets just shoot it, i need a drink, got any more of those martinis doc?"

What is this world coming to?

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