Rough day. I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Today at work I had a hard time keeping my shit together. I got weepy eyed reading a review for a romantic film. My ex-girlfriend called me to see if I wanted to go to the Gay Pride Parade. I bet you are wondering why she would ask me that seeing as neither of us are gay. You see, we always used the day of the parade to mark our anniversary. Our first kiss happened right before I went to work that night. I worked for a bar and we set a booth up along the parade route to sell beer to all in attendance. I had fun that night I was riding a high from the first kiss with the woman who I thought I would marry. I made lots of money that night too. I wore overalls with no shirt. The gay boys were loving it. That was eight years ago.
I agreed to meet her for lunch/drinks on Sunday. I'm not sure what her angle is. I wish I could say that she just wants to hang out. I wish I knew in my heart that she didn't want to get back together. I don't. I'm not sure what anyone wants of me these days. I don't want a relationship right now. I don't want to rekindle old flames, I'm not even that interested in sex right now (hard to believe I know). I just need to be me. I need to learn to love myself (insert gratuitous masturbation joke here) again. I need to find myself again. I think I need a vacation. I want a walkabout.
5 comments:
I find it interesting that you mentioned needing a walkabout when one of our recent discussions included my desire to someday visit Austrailia (aka OZ). Perhaps one day we could take that voyage together. you never know. ~.o
Ooohh... Be careful with THAT lunch date, mcnazty.
:P
"me",
I really do need to get somplace as far away from this red-assed baboon state as possible....
Hideous,
I am already working on ways to make myself as unattractive as possible. I think I won't shave or bathe for a couple of days. Hell, I might just let a wet fart or two go just to be sure.
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